I was sorting through some photos today and I realised that Eat My Street has had a very exciting year. I have been to many very delicious, exciting and even exotic events. Sometimes there has even been a frisson of glamour in my life. Then I remembered this post that I wrote, and I thought it would be a perfect time to share it.
Embarrassing blunders from an enthusiastic blogger.
I am basically a little too socially awkward to be a food blogger. I have written about that here, here and here. Being editor in chief (or just call me Mrs President if you prefer) at Eat My Street, I am often required to attend events where I know no one and I has to make friendly conversation. This often goes very well and I meet interesting people. Occasionally though I do fall flat on my face.
A stunning example is the evening I wore my jacket on inside out to a work function. Some kind, conflicted couple finally approached me and explained how they had disagreed over wether or not they should tell me about my error but the wife had eventually won the day.
Solidarity sister, you did a good thing.
Then there are the selfies. When I go somewhere alone, I am required to take photos, and occasionally if I have had success with the paint and hair straightener, I am tempted to insert my own self into the picture. Problem is, I am bad at the selfies. I try really hard and I concentrate on the details and so I basically always look slightly confused. Because I am slightly confused.
While we are talking about cameras, let me just mention how it goes when I get the opportunity to ‘talk shop’ with serious photographers.
“What’s your lens? That looks about right for these conditions.”
Me, pointing at lens. “That one, my lens is that one.” **scurries off quietly to location where people will not ask me about my lens (the toilet maybe?).
Oh yes, the toilet. Great and close personal ally to this socially enthusiastic introvert. When the small talk gets tough, the tough get heading off to the toilet cubicle to hide. If I am feeling really fancy, I sit in my car. Walks along corridors and rivers staring seriously at the display, also work well. No one dare interrupt such serious art/nature appreciation. HINT. Do not stay in the toilet too long or there will be a gawking cue of people staring annoyed at you when you exit. Toilet hiding is not for the novice.
Did I mention that I do not drink much wine? Anyone who knows me well will know that I am an absolute light weight. Bubbles are definitely my thing, just not many of them. So when I am presented with a specially curated selection of matching wines, I am heavy with the “no thanks.” This does not always go down fabulously well when someone has thoughtfully curated a drinks list for the visiting bloggers.
Then there is the day that I was headed into the City for a very fancy product launch. My hair was done and so was my makeup on I had on some fine new threads. Unfortunately I had to stop for fuel where I was feeling a little fab/ overdressed in equal measure. As I filled my car up I could just feel that someone was staring at me. A glance out of the corner of my eye confirmed it to be a slightly older than middle aged, man.
Bleurgh, I thought to myself, this could get annoying, being gawked at when getting petrol. Sure enough, my petrol friend decided to approach me and strike up conversation.
Me. Preparing the glare and shrug.
Him. Excuse me but I noticed that you have the TAG HANGING OFF THE BACK OF YOUR DRESS. I can see that you are all dressed up for something so I could hate for you to be embarrassed.
Oh, my. The Embarrassment and appreciation in equal measure.
One of the more “fabulous darling” events I attended was chock full to the brim of Melbourne celebrities. I won’t name drop, mainly because I don’t know any names, but it was a little exciting to be along in attendance. There were even press photographers there, and the images were in the next days paper. After an awful lot of scrolling, I found one of myself. Laughing (neighing?) like a horse. Lovely that. You want to take a look. Go on then.
Go on, you can’t have too much of a good thing right? So here are a few more social blunders from this blogger.
Let’s not forget the time I
- Neglected/ forgot to take photos of my food. Ate it first. Loved it. Wanted to share it. Whoops.
- Was too shy to take photos of my food.
- Ate dinner with a celebrity and pretended I didn’t know his name, trying to force him to tell me what it was (manners right?). Somehow he knew that I knew and the stand off went on for quite a while until I eventually just caved in.
- Refused to talk to people about my blog.
- Pretended I was not a blogger.
- Pretended my husband’s name was John after a misunderstanding, then kept it up all night.
- Left the VIP room after 5 minutes because I was uncomfortable around all that VIP-ness.
- Skipped an gastronomically exciting night out in favour of Maltesers and Miss Marple at home.
- Let someone steal my piece of confit duck because I am a confit lover, not a confit fighter.
Let me finish with a final tale.
I was at a very impressive dinner one night and after many hours where drunkeness was setting in (but not in me ) I decide to escape the peoples and head outside into the garden (cue staring at nature). But there were already a couple of cool, skinny-jean-ed, bearded dudes who were out there and suddenly I was trapped in a whole new level of small talk. I decided a little light flirting might lighten the mood.
Me. “I love your leather bag. I heard that man-bags were the next big accessory for fashion conscious man.”
Him. “Yeah, it is actually my diabetes kit, not a man bag.”
Him. “I have diabetes.”
Me. “Oh right.” **looks desperately for an exit.
Him. “I sometimes need to take insulin.”
Me. *blush, mumble, cough. It is a nice bag though isn’t it?
Moral of the story. Never judge a hipster by his soft leather accessories, you may be spot on with your judgement of the man, but no one wins a cynicism fight with an urbane bearded man. Plus he might just trump you with his sincerely heartfelt vulnerability.
Got any wonderful awkward social blunders to share. Go on!