When mothers fail

FullSizeRenderSo I am failing myself at being a Mum this week. I am pretty sure I am not failing my kids exactly, but I am definitely failing myself.

I cried about it while I eating a sandwich so I know that something is not quite right for me somewhere.

You see after my epic year of “saying yes” I have so much to do, in so many places. I work and my husband works and I write and I Mum and I am trying to build my own little business here at Eat My Street and sometimes it is all a little bit much.

So I drop the ball and then it rolls under the table and while searching for it, all the other balls go flying around the room and then I just sit on my desk chair eating a sandwich, crying, and getting hit by balls.

Do you know what I mean?

Now the really hard thing about this for me is that for many years I was a stay at home Mum, and so being a Mum was my big shiny, pearly ball and I rarely dropped it. Isn’t that great?

Then I started working a little bit away from home. I still carried that pearly parenting ball very carefully in my outstretched arms and I never put it down no matter what was happening.

But at some point life had to change a little bit because children grow up right? It is important that when this happens, we grow up as parents too. So I went back to work. Now I love my work, but working regular hours means that sometimes I cannot turn up to school assembles and kinder drop-offs and sports events.

It doesn’t feel so good.

I was very confident as a Mum for many years. Other little parts of my life may have failed but my Mum game was pretty strong. It felt pretty good.

This feels less good.

So this week I had decided to do something about it. I was not going to miss the book week parade because I have never missed it before. I made a plan that involved a 30 minute lunch break, 2 x ten minute car rides, 2 x 2 minute walks from the car park and 6 minutes of waving to my little boys in their lizard/ farmer outfits. Winning!

Just as I picked up my handbag to walk out the door I was confronted by an emergency that had to be dealt with.

Sigh.There was no book week parade for me.

But I did learn two important lessons.

  1. As long as I keep on juggling, I am probably doing Ok-ish. Part of this means that I might end up crying in my office after missing the book week parade. I have to feel the feels and let it shape me and do a little better next time if it turns out to be important.
  2. It takes a community to raise a child, so most things are a little easier when friends are there to help.

“I get by with a little help from my friends,
I get high with a little help from my friends,
Going to try with a little help from my friends.”

So during the gorgeous book week parade #failgate my sister and my girlfriend both sent me gorgeous little photos of my boys wandering around in their giant lizard costumes, after I texted them a “help please.”

So yes, Mother’s fail and yes, this Mother fails and it don’t feel good. But embrace it, say I. Have a little listen to what is going on and then promise to do a little better next time if it turns out to be an important issue.

And always feel free to cry over your canteen sandwich in your office chair if you really feel you need to.

It is hay fever season after all so no one ever need know.

Happy travels.

Dani xx

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7 thoughts on “When mothers fail

  1. I’ll confess a fail; we were asked to put our name on a slip of paper at church to join a prayer group, and be linked up to pray for someone else. I wrote my name. My 9 year old son asked “can I do it Mum?” Ok. He writes my name. I’m annoyed that he wasted a slip, when he should have put his own name. I make eyes at him and growl. I take off him. He seems very upset.
    Later that day he explained he thought he had to write the person whom he wanted to pray FOR. Yep, he wanted to pray for me and I growled at him.
    Yep, I felt pretty small. I told him I was sorry and had made a mistake. And that I loved him.
    We’ve moved on, but I’ve been reminded not to jump to conclusions, and that I have a son who loves me.
    Xx Rini again.

    1. He He. I love this Rini. That is a bit of a “whoops” parenting moment. Funny that it has stuck with you too! We have to keep learning from these little mistakes don’t you think? Nice to know your boy loves you. Dan

  2. Being a working mum is really hard, a constant juggling act that’s for sure. Just remember we can’t be everywhere and do everything all at once, we are not perfect but we are doing the best we can. Don’t be too hard on yourself, that fact that you even worry about this stuff makes you a really good Mum right there!

    1. Thanks Sarah. You are right, it is important to me to feel that I am doing my best. Book week is so cute though right?

  3. Yep, every Mum has fails. Recently my daughter asked me to come to assembly as her class were running it. She asked a few times, and I said yes each time. I put it in my diary so I wouldn’t forget to leave home at 3, instead of 3.15. Then on assembly day, I looked at my clock on my computer – 3.18!!! I had forgotten to set the alert on the appointment. I got there at 3.28 – in just enough time to hear the principle say that the parents could leave first. Epic fail. I felt sick. If I hadn’t have been in the school yard I definitely would have cried into my sandwich. Lucky she still loves me. xx

  4. Have I failed against my own standards – or what I’ve promised I would do but for reasons beyond my control (or even within my control but I’ve forgotten) – yes. But I have to keep remembering I’m doing my best – as are you – clearly your family are really well loved, and love you too. Great parenting xx

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