We all need our friends don’t we, no matter how old or busy or awkward we are, we essentially still want to know that we got people.
But sometimes we get so frustrated and disappointed with our friends because we find out they are not perfect (not you obviously you are perfect.) Most of the time this is when the friendship is changing in some way or becoming stuck in some other way and it is really a natural part of growing up (again, not you, no one is saying you need to grow up Peter Pan).
Well I say, learn to hold your friendships lightly in your hand so that they can change and warp and recreate, because people are weird. All of the people, even if only for a little while.
Let me explain.
Here are some examples of classic friendship mis-match.
- You meet a super energetic chick who you adore, but they are just too busy with their current gang and shenanigans to ever spend time with you.
- You meet the classic group player who just wants you to be part of their preexisting gang, resulting in you spending too much time with a weird bunch of people you have never met before.
- You get to know that deep and thoughtful dude who has a head full of amazing, inspiring ideas, but who is so quiet that you end up overcompensating with non-stop conversational dribble, making you say random things like “do you like rocks? I just think rocks are so fascinating.”
- You find yourself spending an awful lot of time with some kid that your Mum made you play with because she liked playing with their Mum. Definitely not fair, and definitely not going away.
- You catch up once a month with that transitional phase friend, who is transitioning into a different phase than you.
“Want to come rock climbing with your two month old? We could use their pram as a tether at the bottom of the cliff. I’ve seen it done on YouTube. You shouldn’t worry so much.”
I could go on. But instead I will say this (cue that annoying friend who never listens to what you are saying but instead insists on giving you non stop advice).
All of these weird and wooly friendships are still really valuable. Yes, all of them.
Cue annoying yell-y friend who gets upset and personally attacks you every time you voice an opinion.
Oh my gosh, you are always exaggerating. Why would you say that? As if you know every single friend I have ever made.
Ok, most of them.
Even the one where you think you don’t really like someone but you have to talk with them every day due to circumstances. One day they may just bring you a coffee and a lemon tart when you really need it and BOOM, you got a new bestie.
Sitting here at an old wise owl age of thirty something, I can say from experience that it is really worth not giving up on friendships. Sometimes they need to change and morph and drift, like an annoying blob of kinetic sand that you wasted all your money on at Christmas. But if you kind of let them just hang there somewhere in the background, in all likelihood their time will come again.
Because different friendships are good for different reasons and in different seasons, but they are all precious and valuable.
That’s what I think anyway, and my Mum says you have to listen to me when I talk or you will be in heaps of trouble. So there.
Got any weird and wooly friendship stories to tell? Any inspiring tales of old, grimy, stinky friendships that came good again after a nice spit n shine? I’d love to hear about it so hit us up in the comments.
And High Fives to my long suffering old friends who have just hung around me for years and years. I love each one of you to bits- sorry for calling you old.