Predicting your future based on your breakfast.

Welcome to my breakfast based personality predictor where all my years of University study combine with my love of breaking fast for one giant, flamboyant,  kaleidoscopic collision.

I take your average, Aussie breakfast selection and predict, summarise and prevaricate about your personality.

So take a look at your breakfast table, read on and learn.

Here goes.

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What you did you eat today?

Scrambled Eggs? Someone is worried about you and perhaps deep down you are worried about your self. Today you need comfort and nurturance and an extra dose of creamy caring. Look in the mirror and repeat three times

“I got this.”

Now hug yourself and eat those eggs.

Pancakes? Today will be a day filled with family and friends in the style of the Famous Five novels. Pack a wedge of cheese, a bottle of milk and an apple and enjoy the a day surrounded by your gang. Don’t forget to take Timmy and keep an eye out for smugglers. If you do get trapped in a cave beside the beach, don’t worry, your Uncle/ the Mayor will be out for a walk anytime now and will rescue you without fail. Enjoy the giggles while you can.

Waffles mean there is a frisson of excitement for  the day ahead. Your day will be tasty and crunchy and maybe drenched in the sweetness of syrup. Anything is possible today including a berry based side project of success.

Home-made crumpets speak of adventure- who knows what you might discover in those little yeasty crumpet-bubbles. Delve into each task and project in front of you and then move onto the next one. Some bubble-projects will be filled with honey and some just filled with air but they will all offer sustenance.

Stale toast speaks for itself yes? The day will be busy and full, maybe a little bit dull and infused with the scent of vegemite, desperation and determination.

Fresh toast, with bread bought fresh from the bakery on one of those early morning, sleep smudged drives where you pretend no one can tell you are still cloaked in sleep under that crumpled tracksuit? Of course that means you are on holidays or destined for holiday or at the very least, a holiday spirit will pervade your day. It’s your lucky day fresh bread eaters.

Porridge eater? Welcome and pull up a chair. Your day is starting with solid, grey, health-infused calm and if you have anything to do with it (and we all know you do) it will continue on in just the same way. You will lay firm foundations and paste each crack of disrepair with the solid, gooey goodness of  oats cooked with water and milk.

Yoghurt and fresh fruit folk? Step up. You are doing really well, nothing need stop your day from being successful in every way. You will achieve your dreams and work toward your future starts TODAY with your honey infused greek yoghurt. Beware though of the flaxseed infused anxiety that nibbles at your confidence and infuses your coconut oil. Swish swish!

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Nutri Grain, Cocoa Pops of Fruit Loops swimming in your breakfast bowl? Your day will start well (I am jealous) you are happy and excited and importantly your are a child. If you are a child aged 18 or over then it might be time to grow up. The bonhomie will crash at some point soon and you are going to need your Mum to fix everything.

Egg and bacon roll?  First question. Who made this tempting breakfast? If you made it yourself then you must really love and respect yourself so you got this. Your day might be up or down or up and down but you got this. No probs.

Someone make your delicious chutney smeared roll for you? Well you are loved, deeply loved so enjoy. Love conquers, babe.

Bacon and egg with sausage and extras? Why are you even here? You are obviously on holidays or taking a break or sitting by the endless ocean with someone you love (even if that someone is yourself). You do not need a humble breakfast reader like me. Get out there, enjoy, go live the dream and worry not of your future because tomorrow will take care of itself. Or maybe it won’t, we can chat later.

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Finally, the fibre based dried fruit sprinkled, plain cereal brigade. You “produce” “the goods” every day, day after day.  You, my dear, are only here to prove how superior your breakfast is to everyone else’s. You already know that what you eat is “just right” and so indeed is what you do all day. So go about your “regular” day, being the boss and being bossy and maybe we can chat when you are on holiday- that’s if you ever have time to take a holiday.


So there you have it. Expert life based breakfast predictions.

Didn’t find your breakfast personality in the list above? I take requests, leave a comment below and I will dig deep into my cereal based expertise and speak to you of your future.

You’re welcome.

Dani

 

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4 thoughts on “Predicting your future based on your breakfast.

    1. Mrs R, your warm cup of tea tells me that lately you have been a lot tired and also a lot busy. Today may be the day that you get busy and tick every item off your long to do list, or it might be the day that you sit around dunking sweet biscuits in your tea and staring at the wall. Only you can decide Mrs R. Good luck. The Breakfast Reader

  1. Hahahahahahah! I’m the porridge girl! But steel cut oats… You know… Gritty…. The ones that take an hour to cook sitting on a stool stirring with a glass of wine… These are made in advance of course. I don’t drink wine in the morning but that’s a thought! I make like 4 days worth. I’m clearly a control freak!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂

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